Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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