Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
