I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
