She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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