we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
