is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
