i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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