yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
