I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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