So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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