That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
