Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
