I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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