woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
