I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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