i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize