We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
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I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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