i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
