I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
