I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
