Banned from zoo.
Again?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
