So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
