I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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