I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
