You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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