you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
