just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
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the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
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I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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