I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize