I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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