This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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