So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i dont even know how to be here
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
