i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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