Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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