hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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