Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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