White coat. Heels.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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