i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
