Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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