so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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