It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
