I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
