We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
