If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize