I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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