So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize