I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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