I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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