I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
