Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Your penis caused this!
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