my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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