Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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