Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
