She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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