i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize