ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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