it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
