problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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