You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
