can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
