I don't think brook has ever known best
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
