i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
