just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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