I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
