dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
