you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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