Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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