her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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