I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
