I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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