Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
