porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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